Childhood sports can be a great way for kids to learn important life skills such as teamwork, discipline, and perseverance. It’s also a great way for them to learn about the source of authority not being their own parent. As a parent who enjoys watching their kids improve physically and mentally through involvement in sports, I’ve also become aware of some frustrations that come with the territory.

Overly Aggressive Parents

One of the biggest frustrations I have experienced is the behavior of some parents on the sidelines. I’ve seen parents who scream at their child to “get in there and win!” or who criticize their child’s every move. It’s understandable that parents want their child to succeed, but this type of behavior is not only unnecessary, it’s also harmful. Children who feel pressured to perform at a certain level may experience anxiety, low self-esteem, and burnout. It’s important for parents to remember that children participate in sports to have fun and learn, not to win at all costs. Parents can help their child by being supportive and encouraging, and by praising their child’s effort rather than just their performance.

I literally remember being about 12 years old, and some random parent, not even my own, yelling at me to grab more rebounds. It made me feel self conscious and probably hurt my performance more than anything else. I’m always amazed at parents who can’t see this first hand, while they are doing it.

Parents should also set a good example by treating other parents, coaches, and officials with respect. I’ve seen parents who argue with coaches or yell at officials, which not only creates a negative atmosphere, but can also be embarrassing for the child. Remember, your child is watching your behavior, and they will learn from your actions. Encourage your child to be a good sport and to show respect for others, both on and off the field. If something does happen, such as a parent yelling at someone, I talk to my kids afterwards about how negative it is, and how they should keep calm and respectful and ignore those parents. The bad behavior of parents is also causing a larger number of the officials to quit, creating a growing shortage of umpires and referees across many sports.

Cost of Sports

Another challenge is the cost of participating in sports. Between equipment, registration fees, travel expenses, and coaching fees, the costs can add up quickly. For some families, this can be a burden, especially if they have multiple children who all want to participate in different sports. It’s important to find ways to make sports accessible to all children, regardless of their family’s financial situation, but understandably that can be challenging for many towns and organizations.

My town has really inexpensive recreational sports for very young kids, but even starting at around 4th grade, we have to spend hundreds per kid to play soccer. Some organizations may offer scholarships or financial assistance programs, and it’s worth exploring these options. Also super important is to see if you can get used gear, either from your parent network, or from used sports gear stores. I’ve gotten lacrosse, baseball, and soccer gear just from other neighborhood parents trying to clean out their garage!

It’s also important to keep in mind the value of free play. Sometimes, children just need time to run around and play without the structure of organized sports. Free play can be a great way for children to develop creativity, social skills, and physical fitness. Encourage your child to spend time outside, and try to make physical activity a regular part of your family’s routine. Remember, the goal is not to make your child a professional athlete, but to help them develop a lifelong love of physical activity.

Time Requirements

Another challenge is the time commitment required for sports. Between practices, games, and travel time, it can be difficult to balance sports with other commitments such as schoolwork and family time. It’s important for parents to help their children manage their time effectively, and to ensure that they’re not sacrificing important aspects of their lives for sports. One way to do this is to create a schedule that includes time for homework, family time, and other activities. Encourage your child to prioritize their responsibilities, and to take breaks when needed. Remember, children need time to rest and recharge in order to perform their best.

I will warn you though, things are different now than when you were a kid. My 12 year old has baseball practice sometimes from 8:30pm-10pm on a week night. His team isn’t ultra competitive, or unique in my town. Fields are always a sparse resource, so they just schedule it when they can, and doing till 10pm seems to be in the normal range now for 12 year olds, which I would have thought was crazy just a few years ago. You can imagine the impact when my kid has a 7:40am band class at school the next morning!

It’s also important to consider the value of downtime. Sometimes, children just need time to relax and unwind, especially if they’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Encourage your child to take breaks from sports when needed, and to explore other hobbies and interests. This can help them develop a well-rounded sense of self, and can also help prevent burnout. I’ve seen many parents essentially grind their kid so hard in one sport, that the kid doesn’t even like it anymore, and they haven’t even reached high school yet. I feel as adults, we all know what burnout is, but we need to remember that kids get it too, and sometimes accidentally caused by us.

Injuries

Injuries are a common risk in sports, and as a parent, it can be difficult to see your child get hurt. It’s important to take proper precautions to minimize the risk of injury, such as ensuring that your child has the right equipment and taking breaks when needed. It’s also important to teach your child how to play safely and to encourage them to speak up if they’re feeling uncomfortable or in pain. As a parent, you also have to use common sense, and accept the nature of the sport. If my kid gets bashed to the ground playing soccer, I’m not mad about it. In fact, I’d argue you should expect it. My advice here is that you have to accept injuries if you allow your kid to play sports. It’s part of the package deal.

In some cases of course, injuries may require medical attention, so it’s important to have a plan in place in case of an emergency. Make sure you have a basic first aid kit on hand, and be aware of the signs of concussion or other serious injuries. There have been a few times where I did a semi-non-professional exam of someone’s kid, to see if they could track my finger with their eyes, focus on a point, walk straight etc. Or a quick check of where the closest hospital is. It’s rare where they get injured badly, but being prepared is what being a parent is all about.

Mental Health

Finally, it’s important to consider the impact of sports on children’s mental health. While sports can be a great way to build confidence and self-esteem, they can also be a source of stress and anxiety. It’s important to pay attention to your child’s emotional wellbeing and to support them if they’re struggling. Encourage them to talk openly about their feelings, and let them know that it’s okay to take a break from sports if needed. Remember, the goal of sports is to promote physical fitness and wellbeing, not to cause harm.

I try to talk to them after each game, to see how they felt about what happened. I always drill home the point that there is more to learn from losing than from winning, so it’s still a valuable experience. Did you lose because of a particular weakness, or strategy? Ok, now you know what to work on, so you’ve gained knowledge. This way, they always have something to take away from it, not just the fact that they lost.

In conclusion, while there are certainly challenges associated with childhood sports, and of course occasional tears, complaints and injuries, there are also many benefits. As a parent, it’s important to approach sports with a balanced perspective, and to prioritize your child’s physical and emotional wellbeing above all else. By being supportive, respectful, and attentive to your child’s needs, you can help them develop a lifelong love of physical activity and a healthy sense of self. Remember, we’re not trying to make professional athletes, we’re trying to make healthy, well rounded people.