Parenting comes with a lot of fun, but also a lot of stress. We all know this, it’s part of the game, right? It takes time, but as parents, we have to figure out ways to deal with that stress. I’ll be the first to tell you that not everyone gets the same levels of stress, and I’m probably on the higher end of the spectrum. Either way, we need our moments, our outlets, our escapes. I have several, but for this post it’s all about my escape into the night!

Some quiet time at night

I’m a bit of a night owl, so maybe this approach comes naturally to me. A common scenario is that my kids go to bed between 9-10pm, and sometimes my wife by 10-11pm. In my mind, when they are all gone, that is when I truly have freedom! Maybe that sounds harsh, but it’s probably a bit of what we all feel. Some alone time when I can do what I want, I don’t have to compromise, I don’t have to help anyone, it’s all about me. Those moments become less common as you grow with your kids, and your life is basically servicing their life. 

So how do I use this amazing free time? In all honesty, I’m often just a zombie, drooling on myself as I watch a show or movie. I will admit, it’s not like I’m having productive time. It doesn’t matter though. When else am I going to randomly decide to watch the entire Rocky franchise in the course of a week? When else can I watch something completely inappropriate for everyone in my family, like The Boys. How am I supposed to get into the stupid raunchy weird niche comedy of a show like Dave? 

Is staying up this late healthy? Probably not

Down the rabbit hole I go. I get transfixed, and for the most part I am loving it. Every once in a while there is a crack in my freedom, and I think about the time, or what I have going on the next day, or how I could probably be doing something productive right now. However, I always snap back into zombie mode and continue on with the show. The big problem here is that I’ll find that it’s midnight, or later. Also, it’s a Tuesday. Oh, and I have 3 kids, someone is needing something from me at 7:30 am at the latest.

The morning arrives, and I’m there, helping, but tired. So tired, maybe a bit grumpy, and a bit angry at myself for creating the situation. I could have gone to sleep earlier and prevented this. However, if I did that, I would not have had my freedom! That is the vicious cycle, my friends. I want freedom, but it comes at the price of sleep.

The rest of the day can be a battle. I have to work too, so that is also impacted now. I can’t realistically keep this up, and yet there are stretches of time where I dig myself way too deep into this hole. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s probably negatively impacted some aspects of my job performance to the point of it being noticed. I did mention the word ‘unhealthy’ in the title, right?

How do I break the cycle?

I’m not sure of the best way to stop this. I love that ‘me’ time, but I also need to be present and mentally able to do my normal day time activities. One idea I’ve been toying with is to essentially do the same thing, but really early in the morning. I occasionally can’t sleep, and am up at 5am. I’ve had a few mornings where I did a bunch of reading, or stared at my phone for quite a while before anyone even woke up. Maybe that’s the answer. The hard part is changing from a night owl into a responsible person who goes to bed at like 10pm. 

I’m reminded of an episode of How I Met Your Mother. There’s a quote which has recently came back to me for some reason: “Nothing good happens after 2 AM”. I don’t push it that far, but I am slowly adopting the idea that “Nothing good happens after midnight”. Maybe just writing about this will help cement the idea. Anyway, wish me luck as I try to change my ways, attend to my family, and still chip out some free time.